Thursday, August 20, 2009

PIZZASAURUS REX (Totally Caps Lock Worthy)

Pizza. Dinosaurs.

Look at that fucking box. Come on, you know it's badass. IT'S A DINOSAUR DELIVERING PIZZA! This is the genius that is Pizzasaurus Rex. For any of you who live where I live, you absolutely know P-Rex. This is a staple of the North Valley, not to mention drunk college students at the ever luxurious and celebrated institution that is Cal State University Northridge. Matador pride or some shit. Ole!

Tonight my friend Asher and I were gonna watch the Dodger game and get something to eat. Well everyone knows the best food in the world is pizza (say otherwise and you might get punched in the throat) so naturally we (I) decide on pizza. Duh. Like I'm gonna get a fucking salad to watch man sports. We decide on Pizzasaurus Rex because we both haven't had it in a hot minute and it's better than the cure for AIDS. What? There's no cure? I guess we know which of the two is better. Come on AIDS research, step up your game.

Well I have been going to P-Rex for years and years, ever since I was a wee young Jew, and it's better than sweet Jewish wine. It's not thin crust, or New York style, or any other style that I have had anywhere else. No no, it is it's own entity, it's own being. It is by far the most herbed pizza I've had in my life but not overpowering. There's not a shit load of sauce on it, and the crust is always light and airy. It's not a puffy pizza, and has a beautiful droop. I get turned on talking about it, like right now. I need some tissue paper actually.

I love it so much I even wrote a haiku about it.

Pizzasaurus Rex
How I want you in my mouth
Like glorious tits

And people said I could never write poetry. Joel - 1, College - 0.

Also, the number for this holy beacon of Pizza treasure is 1-818-772-PREX. That's fucking amazing. How GENIUS. I wish I could have me a 666-Joel phone number. That would be so cool and mildly Satanic, and I'm totally down with Satan.


  1. hahahah JOEL so good. I love the haiku dawg.

    JOEL -1 College -0

    <3 db

  2. dear pizza man
    if pizza is so good, why was it invented by mexicans?
    if pizza was so good, why doesn't it come in sizes like 'Grande' ; 'Venti'; and 'Tall'
    if pizza was so good, why don't asian people eat it? And if they did, why doesn't it come with rice?
    if pizza was so good, why do they serve it in Texas?
    if pizza was so good, why isn't it the internet?

    answer some of the important questions first and stop dancing around the truth. sure, pizza is good. but its not that good. dinosaurs never ate pizza for a reason, and it has nothing to do with the taste of pizza -- it has to do with physics and space-time.