Friday, August 28, 2009

The In-Car Pizza Oven: Making Death More Delicious

I knew this one was bound to happen when I saw a Simpsons episode back in 1993 where Homer has an in-car oven and he's buttering up a muffin while driving. Genius idea I thought, but what the fuck did I know, I was like eight years old. So now we have this: The In-Car Pizza Oven. BRILLIANT.

This is a 12 volt pizza oven that plugs right into your god damn car. Finally I can make that Mama Celeste pizza on my way to the free clinic, the brothel, or over to pick up a hot date (where we would probably be eating more pizza before going to the park to "talk"). Now, being 'merican I LOVE getting shit as quick as possible, and when you combine that with driving it's like a match made in pizza-heaven. Delicious? Yes. Portable? Fuck yea. Safe? Pshhhhh yea right.

So am I gonna get one of these things? You're damn fucking right I am, and I suggest everyone on the planet gets's only thirty six dollars! Then you can have pizza all the time, even when pizza most likely shouldn't be made or eaten. Nothing screams driver safety like popping in an eight inch pizza to your in-car pizza oven whilest shuffling through your ipod or texting your friends about how awesome your new in-car pizza oven is. That is until you crash and die, but hey you had a good run.

The best smelling fatal car crash EVER.

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