Pizza Spinning = The Manliest Sport Ever

Watch this video and tell me you DON'T want to drop your pants and let this guy go to town on you, male or female. And no, it's not gay to let a dude on the US PIZZA TEAM sauce your dough and twirl you around like a baton.

Pizza spinning is pretty fucking intense, and some people dedicate their lives to this warlock-type art form. What other food can you twirl around, chuck up in the air, and otherwise perform Cirque De Soleil-esque acrobatics with for national pride? I don't see a Nathan's hot dog juggling contest or a burger flipping expo going down anywhere. Time to step up your game, assholes.

What I would really like to see is the proponents of pizza spinning lobby the Olympic committee to include this SPORT in not only the summer, but winter Olympics as well. And to make things more interesting, the winning countries representative gets to have sex with Halle Berry. I've always said the best way to measure a nation's honor is by spinning pizza dough around to techno house.