Monday, October 5, 2009

Lombardi's: America's FIRST Pizza Place

So my buddy Darren just came back from New York (that place that smells like rat feces) and gave me an in depth review about Lombardi's, which is arguably the first pizza joint in these United States. And for all the illiterates out there, he gave me pictures too, so enjoy. Although I have no idea how an illiterate would have been able to type in this URL or whatever. Shut up.

"After a facebook posting asking what I should do on my trip to New York, Joel suggested/demanded that I visit Lombardi’s in little Italy the first pizzeria in America. After reading mixed reviews I wasn’t so sure but Joel told me that going to Lombardi’s was basically the 11th commandment and I would melt in a coal oven hell for eternity If I didn’t go(don’t quote me). So I took heed and made it a point to get there.

The place is SMALL, which is probably why I read that there can be a 2 hour wait for a table. I got there early and avoided the hoards of pizza-thirsty tourists. Upon ordering I wasn’t able to decide whether I wanted the regular cheese or the white so I got a half and half, best of both worlds especially when it comes to hookers.The pizza came out beautiful and steaming, I think I was so excited I peed a little. The first thing I noticed was the severe lack of cheese on my “cheese pizza”. I didn’t let that bias me. I took the first bite and it hit me like a little flavor terrorist blew up in my mouth. It was the freshest slice I ever had…the sauce, the dough, the basil, the cheese you could taste them all individually. I wish there was more cheese but I would probably end up in the East River if I criticized them. The white side wasn’t as inspiring and actually had too much cheese. It had all the cheeses of the regular pizza plus ricotta and garlic olive oil with no sauce. Then the genius that I am…I flipped one slice on top of the other and achieved HARMONY!

Overall a great experience, but if I ever move to NY I hope P-Rex can deliver via Air Mail."

Well said Darren, but fuck you for not Fed-Exing me a slice of that pie. You're so inconsiderate no woman will ever love you.
Keep fuckin' that chicken, brah.

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