Late night pizza + match game = win

Tonight was a one of those nights where you think you have something to do but then it changes into something completely different. Cue a one bedroom apartment, weed, and FUN.

Whatever, that's not what's important. What IS important is that after the weed smoking ensued, pizza took place. Add this to the list of late night hunger-satisfiers. Yea, that's not a word, but I dont give a fuck. A friend of mine and I were pretty stoked on a pie to cure what ailed us. Delivery was thrown around, but no one was really gung ho, so microwaveable burritos from the market is what we settled on. Yea, not really epic, but whatever - I threw an entire pizza down earlier in the night (cause I'm sexy like that).

When my friend returned it wasn't with burritos, it was with frozen pizza.

Alright, I'm not huge on frozen pizza, it's almost appalling, but when it's late and you're hungry, there's no real food options out there, and you don't expect it, it's a pretty damn welcome sight. It takes preparation, it takes care...it's like a stoner science. My eyes widen, I am surprised.

The steps that it took to actually get the pizza to be edible were mind-blowing. Detailing it would have to be dedicated to an entirely different blog, needless to say it happened and it was tolerable. Suitable. Spectacular. My friend and I dive into it, not giving a fuck if it were too hot or too cold (in this case way too hot), getting burns on the upper parts of our mouths.

Worth it. Totally fucking worth it.

Yea I ate it. Yea it tasted a little off, not fresh and pretty damn cheap...but god bless you Red Baron.

So I keep true to my promise - no matter what adventure or avenue I fall into concerning my rotund compatriot I will be documenting it for sure. No matter how large or small it will be captured like so many pokemon. Late night pizza is better than late night ANYTHING, maybe even sex...I don't know I'm not a fucking scientist.

MATCH GAME


No, this isn't like the classic game of the 70's where dudes and broads see if they're compatible whilest being hidden behind a screen and asking dumbass questions. This is with matches, homie, like fire. Scared? Well you shouldn't be, cause it's just a match and you're a human being. Humans >Matchs, bro.

This is more like a social experiment. Take a match, light it, and stick it in a friends face. See what happens, the results are hilarious.

Reactions range, from people who just blow the fucker out, to ones that don't realize breathing demolishes match fire like a motherfucker. Try it, you'll see. It's almost as fun as lighting a cross on fire and placing it in front of your ethnic neighbors house...almost.

The Inaugural Blog Post

This is me, and yes that's pizza, and yes it was delicious. This being the first post ever to anything I have honestly cared about (sorry livejournal), I feel it's necessary to explain exactly why I started this blog in the first place. Let me take you back...

I can remember the first time I tried a slice of pizza, I was around 5 years old sitting around the dinner table of my first home waiting for my father to come home with dinner. Not just any dinner, Pizza. Now, I might have had it before, but I really cant remember, so this to me is my first legit experience with this darling treasure. He sits the two pizza boxes down on the dinner table and unveils the most amazing thing I have seen with my own two eyes: Cheese Pizza.

Now if you don't like cheese pizza, then fuck you. Seriously you shouldn't be allowed to breathe my precious air. Vegetarians and carnivores alike can agree that cheese pizza is amazing, delicious, and....sexy? Whatever.

I remember taking the slice from 2 for 1 pizza (my mother has confirmed this for me) and setting it down on my plate and taking the first bite, and I mean THE first bite. The cheese. The Sauce. The Dough. The sentence fragments. A combination of three simple ingredients baked to perfection, served up in triangular pieces, that you can eat with your HANDS. At 5 years old, if I had to use a knife and fork to eat my meals, I would have lost my shit and spun into a tantrum. Everything about it was perfect, and that was it...I was addicted. Most people can't say they fall in love at 5 years old, but I did. Love at first bite, how romantic.

From there my addiction has just increased, my love for this wonder of the world has grown astronomically, and my weight has....fluctuated. I don't blame the pizza per se, I blame my shitty eating habits throughout high school and college. In my adult life (I'm 25 now) I have come to realize that pizza has been my rock, my best friend, my soulmate. Most of the important events in my life have culminated in eating pizza - whether it be post-soccer game, after concert, or just being hungry after some good sex.

I feel like I owe this blog to all the pizza places, the by the slices, the pioneers of everything Za. This is my life and I take it seriously. Everytime I eat pizza, or see or experience something pizza related, it will be posted. This is a testament to my absolute favorite THING in the world, not just food. I couldn't live without it, and if you told me that pizza was outlawed in America, I would move to Italy in a heartbeat.

Pizza, I love you, and I know you love me too.